The
Monkey Cage12/19/06
Today's blog is dedicated to you women that have the sweet darker colored pussy lips - amost black in parts. Yummy. Short stuff today.
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Signs the Monkey might be poor: I'm buying coffee - I buy the "three for $5.00 coffee and the labels is something like "Jim & Carl's Coffee - Good Value since 1862" - not "good COFFEE since 1862 but good VALUE!
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I think it'd be funny if I were a clown in the circus if I drove out in the middle of the big top in one of those fucked-up clown cars, and I got out of it, and my clown buddy got out of it too. Get it? Only TWO clowns get out of the clown car!?
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I also think it'd be funny to drive that same clown car into the middle of the big top, and then have my clown girlfriend with the bright orange hair start gobbling away at my big hard clown cock, with her head bobbing up and down (sure some kids in the audience would be shocked, but what the fuck it'd be funny and I'd cum on her pretty red clown nose.
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I'd like to get ahold of one of those little fuckin' hot spoiled Hollywood brat young ladies like Parisite Hilton or Sarah Jessica Parker, and show 'em what lovin's all about: from a 42 year old horny hard-core southern gentleman workin' class monkey slut for one weekend and they'd leave Hollywood for workin' class America in a heartbeat.
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Signs the Monkey might be poor: I'm buying coffee - I buy the "three for $5.00 coffee and the labels is something like "Jim & Carl's Coffee - Good Value since 1862" - not "good COFFEE since 1862 but good VALUE!
---------------------------------
I think it'd be funny if I were a clown in the circus if I drove out in the middle of the big top in one of those fucked-up clown cars, and I got out of it, and my clown buddy got out of it too. Get it? Only TWO clowns get out of the clown car!?
----------------------------------
I also think it'd be funny to drive that same clown car into the middle of the big top, and then have my clown girlfriend with the bright orange hair start gobbling away at my big hard clown cock, with her head bobbing up and down (sure some kids in the audience would be shocked, but what the fuck it'd be funny and I'd cum on her pretty red clown nose.
---------------------------------
I'd like to get ahold of one of those little fuckin' hot spoiled Hollywood brat young ladies like Parisite Hilton or Sarah Jessica Parker, and show 'em what lovin's all about: from a 42 year old horny hard-core southern gentleman workin' class monkey slut for one weekend and they'd leave Hollywood for workin' class America in a heartbeat.
Almost Christmas?
Today's blog is dedicated to you women who wear your sexy hot high-heeled boots even in the winter for us perverts.
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I think if you were a devil down in Hell, it would suck if you accidently told your devil friends that you wanted to be called by the cool nickname "Dirt" - because although it sounds cool, you'd get tired of the "Dirt Devil" cracks from the other devils and them saying you suck.
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I think it would suck if you were in the Old West and you worked for the local undertaker and it was YOUR job to run out in the middle of gun fights to measure dead cowboys for coffins.
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If you drove around in an Albertsons car, every time you went to Albertsons to shop the cashier would ask "Do you have an Albertsons Card" and you'd be like "Yeah I DO!" (thinking they said "Albertsons CAR") it'd get confusing as hell and you'd end up selling the car. It was lame anyway.
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In the Christian Bible they always talk about how great heaven is, but in Country songs they always sing about the mythical "Whiskey River" and honkey tonk bars.
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I think it would suck if you were calling the FedEx automated package tracking system on the phone and you had to enter the tracking number: 2299388111000033399972618472937261728399271111882873728370044837329 followed by the # sign.
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I think if you were a devil down in Hell, it would suck if you accidently told your devil friends that you wanted to be called by the cool nickname "Dirt" - because although it sounds cool, you'd get tired of the "Dirt Devil" cracks from the other devils and them saying you suck.
---------------------------------
I think it would suck if you were in the Old West and you worked for the local undertaker and it was YOUR job to run out in the middle of gun fights to measure dead cowboys for coffins.
----------------------------------
If you drove around in an Albertsons car, every time you went to Albertsons to shop the cashier would ask "Do you have an Albertsons Card" and you'd be like "Yeah I DO!" (thinking they said "Albertsons CAR") it'd get confusing as hell and you'd end up selling the car. It was lame anyway.
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In the Christian Bible they always talk about how great heaven is, but in Country songs they always sing about the mythical "Whiskey River" and honkey tonk bars.
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I think it would suck if you were calling the FedEx automated package tracking system on the phone and you had to enter the tracking number: 2299388111000033399972618472937261728399271111882873728370044837329 followed by the # sign.
12/06 1943
Today's short blog is dedicated to Sparks. What a drink.
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I think if you were a girl born with eight vaginas - at first you'd think it sucked to be you, and you'd cry yourself to sleep each night - but I think within a few years you'd be proud of it and actually traveling with the circus as "The Amazing Octopuss" girl. (thanks Lynn!)
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There's always someone at work who when they sit down to eat lunch has to make a big production out of bowing their heads, closing their eyes, and giving thanks to their god. And I give thanks to their god also because THIS is when the Monkey moves in swiftly and silently from across the cafeteria and steal their food.
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Dear Moody Blues: Why in the FUCK are you singing about knights in white satin?
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So I realize the other day I'm out of money and my cat is crying she wants food. Oops. I thought how cats LOVE fish, and fish eat fish food, so I personally thought it was brilliant when I came up with giving the cat some fish food...and dogs love peanut butter (no comment) so why wouldn't a cat!? I was proud of myself but the next morning what was still in "Osama Bin Kitty's" food bowl untouched?? Fish food and peanut butter! Finicky bitch.
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I think if you were a girl born with eight vaginas - at first you'd think it sucked to be you, and you'd cry yourself to sleep each night - but I think within a few years you'd be proud of it and actually traveling with the circus as "The Amazing Octopuss" girl. (thanks Lynn!)
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There's always someone at work who when they sit down to eat lunch has to make a big production out of bowing their heads, closing their eyes, and giving thanks to their god. And I give thanks to their god also because THIS is when the Monkey moves in swiftly and silently from across the cafeteria and steal their food.
---------------------------------
Dear Moody Blues: Why in the FUCK are you singing about knights in white satin?
----------------------------------
So I realize the other day I'm out of money and my cat is crying she wants food. Oops. I thought how cats LOVE fish, and fish eat fish food, so I personally thought it was brilliant when I came up with giving the cat some fish food...and dogs love peanut butter (no comment) so why wouldn't a cat!? I was proud of myself but the next morning what was still in "Osama Bin Kitty's" food bowl untouched?? Fish food and peanut butter! Finicky bitch.
